The Universe: Good day to you, Alexandra!

Me (Alexandra): How did you know I was just thinking I’d like to ask you something?

U: We are always attentive to our children.

Me: We could sure learn from you! Attention is a rare commodity here on Earth.

U: If we may, there’s no shortage of attention on your planet. The issue is to what you give your attention.

Me: I can’t argue with that. And besides, right now I’m giving my attention to a thorny problem.

U: We would love to help.

Me: Good. Thank you. Why is it so difficult to do the right thing?

U: An interesting question. Why do you think it’s so difficult?

Me: Because I struggle with it all the time! This very afternoon, in fact.

U: And yet, here you are, conversing with The Universe, and, we believe, you also have a machine washing your laundry at the same time. Both of these activities seem positive to us – what you referred to as “the right thing.” How did you manage this if you were struggling so?

Me: I’m not sure, but I believe my Buddhist practice has something – probably a lot – to do with it.

U: Why do you believe that?

Me: Well, chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo helps me feel better – stronger. So that when my darned negative voice starts whining, “I don’t wanna…” I can rise above its doubting and complaining, and take a positive action. Like doing way overdue laundry and sitting here at my laptop, with my channels open to You.

Study makes a big difference, too.

U: How so?

Me: My thinking can be pretty weird or dark at times, especially since I live on my own and there’s no one to act as a sounding board. Buddhist study is like opening the windows in a really stuffy room in my head and letting the fresh air come in.

Also, this weekend I’ve been studying the importance of NOW and of changing my behaviour. So yesterday I got started on what I suppose is called “tidying up.” While tidying up is not a new concept to me, it’s certainly not one I’ve applied very often for quite some time!

It showed me all over again just how time-consuming addictions are and how they make us neglect many of the basic actions of taking good care of ourselves.

U: Do you refer to your social media addiction? Doomscrolling I believe you humans call it. Such an amusing name!

Me: Not so amusing when you happen to be the one doomed to doing it for seemingly forever. And yes, that was my addiction. It sucked out so much of my attention and energy. It was exhausting, frankly!

U: And now?

Me: Now I don’t stagger to bed too late at night with screen eyes, and I can get up much more easily in the morning.

U: Excellent. And how did you achieve this breakthrough?

Me: It’s rather like when I stopped drinking alcohol during the day, about 15 years ago.

U: Go on.

I went to spend Christmas with a former boyfriend outside of Montreal in the countryside. People usually drink a lot more alcohol at Christmas., and he and his friends were heavy drinkers year-round. So even though I still enjoyed drinking wine at that time, I thought I’d never survive if I started before lunch. So I made up a story. I told them that I didn’t drink until 5 o’clock in the evening. I remember one chap being quite impressed by this notion, even expressing what a good idea it was.

And as it turned out, it was a great idea! So I decided to maintain it when I returned to Toronto. And just like that, it stuck.

U: And this time?

Me: I went to stay with my sister for 15 days in the U.K. last month. We did a LOT of travelling, including in the most beautiful country in the world – Scotland. I had an accident on my second night there and badly bruised my coccyx, so all the car travel was painful for me, which increased my tiredness. Nevertheless, I noticed that I didn’t have the same wiped-out feeling as I did in Toronto.

Obviously, I was on vacation, so my face wasn’t stuck into a work laptop screen all day long, five days a week. Then I realized that neither was I doomscrolling. At all. I sent the occasional WhatsApp message, but that was it. So, just like not drinking alcohol during the day, I decided to maintain my freedom from the tyranny of the tiny screen when I returned to Toronto. I’m proud to say I have done so. And I feel So. Much. Better!

U: Bravo! You are now wiser with your attention.

And as we see you continue to practise SGI Buddhism as the foundation of your life, and then start and maintain other good habits, such as going for a walk first thing in the morning, we are confident that, despite your inner resistance – which comes from your ego mind – you are truly starting to build a life you are worthy of.

And that, dear one, is always worth struggling for!

Photo by ROBIN WORRALL on Unsplash