Me (Alexandra): Dear Universe, may I have a word with you?

Universe: Of course, dear one. We are always ready to listen to our children.

Me: Thank you. You know I have a court case coming up, right?

U: We do. And a major one at that. How are you holding up?

Me: Surprisingly well! Although, given all the inner growth and expansion I’m engineering for myself through stronger Buddhist practice and study and ongoing trauma therapy, maybe that’s not so surprising after all. It’s just very different from who I used to be.

U: That must feel good.

Me: It certainly does

I’m at the point where I see the person who’s suing me as a good friend, because she’s presented me with a situation that is an opportunity to either shrink or grow. To practise avoidance, as I used to, or to stand up for myself.

Speaking of which, thank you for the message on IG by Peter Crone you sent me to warn me on the outcome of avoidance:

Any avoidant energy means that you’re in resistance to life. You’re fighting the reality of life. You’re going to lose, but only 100 per cent of the time.

U: Ah yes, Mr. Crone has a way with words that makes the message crystal-clear.

Me: He certainly does!

The other day I was writing in my journal about fear, which I’ve been plagued by my whole life. So much so that until a best friend told me the other day that I’m courageous for facing this law suit, I never saw that.

Yet of course I’m courageous! I came to Canada by myself in 1974, as a 21-year-old young woman! And when, less than one month later, I was abducted and raped by a violent man who used his fists when I tried to escape, Once he got what he wanted I managed to walk away from the situation. And I didn’t run home to the UK. I stayed. If that doesn’t make me courageous, I don’t know what does!

Anyway, I was writing about fear, as I said:

“Because I have much stronger faith now in the power of chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo to the Gohonzon, I can see things more clearly. And I no longer feel that it’s me on my own against the world. By facing the situation and taking action I can dissolve my fear of the unknown.”

And as I was writing the last sentence, I realized that the French webradio I listen to (FIP) was playing a jazz track that repeated these words over and over again:

THE BATTLE IS ALREADY WON

“The battle is already won.” I knew it was a message from you, dear Universe.

U: Yes. As you say, your mind is clearer now, so it is easier to communicate with you.

Me: Wonderful. Then the following day, I wrote:

“The battle is not between me and the person suing me. It’s between fear and courage within me. That’s why the situation she has brought me is so precious, so valuable for my life. Unbeknownst to her, she is acting as my friend, helping me to grow and develop from the old me to the new and stronger me. The me who is no longer fooled by my interpretation of past memories into believing that they mean I’m weak and powerless.”

I’m strong. And I can stand up for truth in my power. Not against her, but for me.

Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash